I Don't Believe in a Hill Called Mount Calvary

While criticism of contemporary worship music is sometimes fully justified, I'm baffled that older gospel songs seem insulated from such scrutiny.  The truth is hymns, gospel songs, and contemporary worship music all have their fair share of either shallow, silly or even wholly heretical (a phonetic oxymoron) lyrics.

We ought to stop longing for A Mansion over the Hilltop.  In 1611 the word "mansion" simply meant a place to live.  The actual idea in John 14:1-2 is clearly the "Father's house" has more than enough room for everyone.  The gospel song seems to suggest heaven is going to be a land of millions of eternal antebellum southern plantations.  I would note this is an image of heaven many black Christians, for some reason, find less than appealing.  

Ode to Lent

A reflective and candid meditation for the season....

I pause now and want to lament
The bad poetry I have written for lent
But rhyming is just so tempting
And easier than actually repenting

                                    - Tom Lawson, 2014

The Theory of Relativity

"Lord, listen, if you won't make me skinny, then just make all my friends fatter than me."

We see ourselves through the lens of relativity. Relatively speaking, we are people of faith. Relatively speaking, we are active in church. Relatively speaking, we like to study the Bible. Relatively speaking, we are pretty much the kind of Christian that the Christian people around us pretty much think is the kind of Christian a Christian person pretty much ought to be.

Telling Victoria Secrets

Is there a untapped connection between retailers like Victoria's Secrets and evangelism?  I'll let you decide.  Before I start, here's a promise: the story below is entirely true.  

Thanksgiving Baskets

Mrs. Miller?  Mrs. Samantha J. Miller?

Mrs. Miller, I’ve got some great news for you.  You’d better be sitting down. 

Are you sitting down?

I’ll wait.

The Things Shoes Can Tell You

The astute Worship Minister develops skills in learning to assess the subtle nuances needed to adapt Christian worship to various recognizable groups.  Worship in a Korean congregation is not the same as worship in rural North Dakota.  The skills needed to analyze the makeup of a congregation to allow for those minuscule adjustments in scripture readings, musical styles, and song selection can make all the difference between "That really helped me out," and "We'd like to help you out -- where'd you come in?"

In The Field Guide of evangelicus americanus, noted author and researcher Dr. Frederick von Hultmann gives the modern worship minister the tools needed to quickly and effectively assess who is out there staring back at them.  The following is an excerpt from Chapter 12, Assessment by Shoes.

What the...?

So, I'm excited to report that I've discovered,  in order to church the unchurched, what we need are churches designed and staffed and marketed for people who don't like church.

Yep, a church for people who don't like church.  What kind of church do get you when get a church of people who don't like church?  Think outside the box.  

If We Sang Reality in Church

       The music we hear and sing in church.

       This music often reflects the highest ideals of our faith.  From the church's repertoire of music emerge some of the greatest achievements of art and beauty in history.  In these lofty realms of glorious music Handel joyfully sings the songs of Issac Watts, while Graham Kendrick quietly plays the ancient plainsong chant on his guitar.

       In the church's songs of worship the people of God embrace the highest ideals of what the Christ-centered life is to be on earth, as it is in heaven.

       But, in a moment of wild abandoned, I found myself thinking, what if we changed the rules one Sunday. 

Praying about the Role of Women in Worship

Although truth may exist objectively, we all are left to perceive it from within the envelope of our own subjective place.  Like looking through a very old glass window, there are ripples of distortion that shift if we make even the slightest movement to the left or right.  The transcript below of the conversational prayer of two leading members of the First Church of Relevance last Sunday morning reveals a few ripples.

Church-Mart:: We Do Church Your Way

Memo:    

                 From    Pastor of Expansion

                 To         Associate Pastor of Commercials

                 RE:       This week's radio ad for WRNG AM/FM

   

     A once-in-a-lifetime bargain for you and your family.

     That's right, this is the church you’ve been waiting for all life.  Come on down this Sunday.  We're the big church just off exit 17. 

     Don’t like singing in church?  We don't even try.

     Sick and tire of religion that all rules, but no tools? 

     Tired of the narrow-minded?  Afraid of the broad-minded?  Well, how about a church that never expects you to have any kind of mind at all?  Isn’t that what you’ve been hoping to find?  Then this Sunday, you know where you need to be.

Ballad of the Geezers' Revenge

It was a typical Sunday.  So typical no one suspected it would mark the beginning of the last great battle of the worship wars.  Then, out of nowhere, the Loyal Daughters class struck.  

Of the Clean and Unclean Instruments...

Behold, these are the laws of the clean and unclean instruments.

Write them on thy cue cards and post them on the tops of thy instruments.  Talk about them in the sound check and in the time thou dost tear down thy stuff and depart unto thy dwellings.

Slow Jesus: Why Quick Isn't Right

          "Doesn't this guy know there's no such thing as a bad short sermon?"

          "Shhhh.  He'll hear you."

          "He's too busy preaching.  You'd think anybody with anything at all to say could get it said in an hour.  This guy's been going on all day."

A Visitor's Guide to Evangelical Worship

Visiting an evangelical church for Sunday worship for the first time can be a daunting experience.  A paramount concern for many of us is that we not look like we are visiting an evangelical worship service for the first time.  Here are some helpful excerpts from the new book The Outsider's Guide to Evangelical Worship by T. Zing, published by RUSirius Books:

Praise Band:  The musicians on stage - even if it isonly a guitar player and a guy playing bongos.